Wonders of Reality 12 — The Bridge of Death
by Scorpy-l
Summary: Tinkerbell, Iridessa and Vidia struggle with the science troll who guards the Bridge of Death. Read the script or better watch the film that we made for all Tinkerbell fans. Have fun!


**Wonders of Reality 12 — The Bridge of Death**

_The script is a parody, which is based on the Disney Movie ❝Tinkerbell❞ and the Film ❝Searching for the Holy Grail❞ of the British comedy group ❝Monthy Python❞__._

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**It**❜**s one thing to read the script, it**❜**s another to watch the animated film that**❜**s already waiting for you on YouTube. Just type **❝**Wonders of Reality Tinkerbell**❞ **in the YouTube search engine, and you**❜**ll find our channel easily. Or copy the following link:**

youtu.

be/FC2pTaJ8YWo

**If you like it, please consider writing a comment on our channel. Without your support, the project won**❜**t survive.**

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_Tinkerbell, Iridessa and Vidia are carefully moving along the mountain path, pressing their backs against the mossy rock._

**Tinkerbell **_(checks her map)_**.  
**Here it is, the Bridge of Death!

**Iridessa** _(hopelessly)_.  
Oh, great!

**Vidia** _(points with her finger).  
_Look, it❜s the troll from ❝The Lost Treasure❞.

**[PAUSE]**

What❜s he doing there?

_The troll throws a pinch of powder into his test tube. A fountain of fire erupts from it. He throws yet another pinch of powder—fireworks shoot from the test tube._

**Tinkerbell**_ (looks forward, checks her map again).  
_No, he❜s the bridge keeper, the science troll. He asks a traveller three questions. The one who answers correctly may cross the bridge safely.

**Iridessa** _(worried)_.  
What if you get a question wrong?

**Tinkerbell**_ (checks the map, reads, looks back at Iridessa).  
_Then he casts you into the River of Eternal Shame.

**Iridessa **_(almost panicking)_.  
No, not that! And what does he ask about?

**Tinkerbell **_(reads further)_.  
In autumn, he asks about light and about your favourite colours… unless the Troll Guide book is lying to us.

**Iridessa **_(bolder).  
_About light? Why didn❜t you tell it right off? That❜s easy!

_Iridessa runs forward. Her companions exchange glances. Vidia shrugs._

_The troll notices the light fairy and her friends following her. He makes a stopping gesture._

**Troll.  
**Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ❜ere the other side he see!

**Iridessa **_(with confidence).  
_Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper, I❜m not afraid.

**Troll** _(with the distinct voice from the original scene).  
_What is your name?

**Iridessa.  
**It❜s Fairy Iridessa from the Pixie Hollow!

**Troll.  
**What is your quest?

**Iridessa.  
**I am looking for pixie dust! I want to help my fellow fairies.

**Troll**_.  
_What is your favourite colour?

**Iridessa **_(talks over).  
_Yellow-and-orange!

_The light fairy tries to pass, but the troll stops her and finishes his sentence._

**Troll.  
**No, What is your favourite colour, according to the subtractive colour model?

**Iridessa **_(after a pause, dumbfounded).  
_Er… I don❜t know that!

_(Iridessa falls and screams). Please check the video for reference and for timing purposes. The scream shouldn❜t be shrilling, it❜s a parody afer all._

_The light fairy is thrown into the air with an unknown force. Iridessa falls into the river screaming. She emerges, spits the water out. The water around her is swamp green and gooey. _

_The troll chuckles and starts explaining. Transition to the 3D scene._

**Troll.  
**Our world is colourful. But why are leaves yellow, apples—red, flowers—blue, and some fairies in the river—green? _(Chuckles.)_

Let❜s start with light. Light is a tiny part of the electromagnetic spectrum that we see.

If a lamp radiates light of all visible frequencies, it appears white.

The paper also appears white, if it evenly reflects the light of different frequencies.

Now, let❜s apply some blue paint. What happens, eh? As you might guess, the blue pigment will reflect the blue rays and some green ones, while yellow and red rays will be absorbed.

And what colour do we get if we mix blue and yellow paints?

**Iridessa **_(upset)_**.  
**It❜s green!

**Troll.  
**Right! And why? Simply because the yellow pigment reflects the yellow light and a bit of green and red as well. But it stops the blue light.

The same thing happens if we pass the light through blue glass and then through a yellow one. Only ❝green❞ photons will survive. They bounce of the paper, and we see them.

The more paint, the more photons shall we subtract from the light. That❜s why we call this colour model _subtractive_. It comes from Latin subtr**a**ho (take away).

So, when we mix watercolours, we always get darker colours. We can only absorb more photons; without adding new ones by magic.

**Iridessa **_(upset)_**.  
**So what❜s the point of this model?

**Troll.  
**Oh, it❜s crucial! I have already mentioned pictorial art, but colour printing works the same way! Let❜s apply a layer of cyan colour, add magenta, yellow and finally black paint on the paper.

That❜s the way colourful drawings and photos are printed.

He-he! You came out pretty well here!

_Tinkerbell rushes forward. She grabs a coil of rope from her belt. _

**Tinkerbell**.  
Iridessa, hold on! We❜ll get you out of there!

_Troll sees her and blocks the way._

**Troll **_(with the same intentionally affected scary tone).  
_Stop! Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ❜ere the other side he see!

**Tinkerbell **_(balls her fists, strains the rope).  
_I will, you bet!

**Troll**_.  
_What is your name?

**Tinkerbell**_.  
_Fairy Tinkerbell.

**Troll**_.  
_What is your quest?

**Tinkerbell**_.  
_I❜m looking for dust for fairies from the Pixie Hollow.

**Troll.  
**What is your favourite colour…

_The troll makes a pause, he assumes that the fairy would talk over, but Tink listens to him carefully. He understands that he cannot say sarcastically now and finishes his sentence. _

…according to additive colour model?

**Tink **_(triumphally claps, points with her finger emphasising the words).  
_Ha! Let me tell you about that!

**Tinkerbell.  
**Colour is biology, not physics.

The retina of our imperfect eye is all dripped with photoreceptors. The rods sense the brightness, while cones… Well, it❜s not that simple about them.

There are three types of cones: first perceive the red colour, second sense green and third react to the blue colour. But wait! Where are the cones for orange and teal colours?

There are none! Yellow light excites both red and green receptors. We call such a mixed signal _yellow_.

The eye sees no difference between mono- and polychromatic light.

**Vidia.  
**What did you say?

**Tinkerbell.  
**I mean we can❜t distinguish real yellow light from a mixture of red and green.

Hence we need only three coloured spotlights to trick the vision and show any colour: for one, orange or teal.

And if we mix red, green and blue together, we get white.

Only thanks to such imperfection of the eye, projectors and monitors, that show a pretty plausible picture with millions of colours, appeared.

The screens glow lighting up red, green and blue dots. The light adds that❜s why the model is called _additive. _From Latin **_a_**_ddo _(add).

**Troll **_(rapidly)_**.  
**So, how can we write your favourite colour in the red-blue-green model?

**Tinkerbell** _(answers quickly, without much thinking).  
_Green is written like this: zero, two hundred, zero…

Wait, in what model? No! It❜s the other way round! It❜s…

_(Tinkerbell falls and screams). Please check the video for reference and for timing purposes. The scream shouldn❜t be shrilling, it❜s a parody afer all._

_Tink is thrown in the air. She screams and lands on the river, right next to Iridessa. The troll grins._

**Tinkerbell **_(As fast, as in the famous scene on the bridge from __The Lost Treasure__ movie)_.  
Hey, that❜s unfair! You said it on purpose of fooling me! My answer was totally right! ❝Red-_blue_-green❞—what a dirty trick! It❜s red-_green_-blue! Hey, get me out of this mud and apologise!

_She notices Iridessa and talks further as furiously as before._

Right, and get out Iridessa as well! She called the colour correctly. Yes, she didn❜t tell you about the subtractive model, but hey, she❜s not supposed to know that! After all, we aren❜t going to the art class, you know! The Lightning struck our Home Tree. That❜s why we❜re here, looking for pixie dust at the back of beyond! It❜s apparently overrated to help your neighbours in a friendly way. (Instead of being friendly and helpful to your neighbours, you are pulling our legs.) Cunning quiz games? Now we see the trolls❜ hospitality. If you have no pixie dust, just say no. Useless questions! You should had better collected entrance fees to repair your…

_Vidia tries to sneak by as she sees that the troll is totally distracted listening to Tink.  
The bridge keeper suddenly notices her, blocks the way and hisses menacingly._

**Troll.  
**Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me…

**Vidia.  
**Go ahead! Might as well, since you can❜t scare anyone. _(In Tinkerbell__s direction, half-whispering) _More pressure next time, you almost got him.

**Troll.  
**Listen caref0ully! I won❜t repeat twice! What is your name?

**Vidia **_(with affected modesty)_**.  
**The empress of the wind, fairy Vidia from the Pixie Hollow.

**Troll.  
**What is your quest?

**Vidia.  
**Hunting for pixie dust. I❜m dying to fly again. _(She notices the_ _edifying glances of her friends) _What? Are you suggesting that I lie and to take a mud bath with you? It❜s true that I just want to fly. And yes, if I prevail, I will share the loot with the others. Can❜t wait to leave this swamp.

**Troll **_(grins)_**.  
**What is your favourite colour? … And what is its wavelength?

**Vidia **_(with a menacing smile)_**.  
**What do you mean? Mono- or a polychromatic light?

**Troll **_(giggles anticipating his victory)_**.  
**He-he! Let❜s say, monochromatic. Tell me the wavelength in nanometres.

**Vidia.  
**It doesn❜t exist!

**Troll.  
**A colour without wavelength? I don❜t know that.

_The Troll changes his face expression. He looks at Vidia and realises that he shouldn❜t have said those words. The fast flyer fairy mocks him by waving her hand. The bridgekeeper soars upwards. Iridessa and Tink barely jump away. He flops down into the river with a big splash. Green water flies in all directions._

_The bridgekeeper looks at Vidia perplexedly._

**Vidia.  
**Let me explain.

**Vidia.  
**Every rainbow colour has its wavelength. But wait a second! Where are pink, magenta and my favourite purple colours then? Not here. And not there either. Does it mean that my favourite colour doesn❜t have its wavelength? Not quite.

Tink said it right that colour is biology, not physics.

And your colour wheel is a big hoax. If we try to roll the rainbow in a ring, where are we supposed to fit the radio waves, microwaves, X-rays and other stuff? Oh well, since we don❜t see anything of this richness, there is nothing left, but to substitute all the variety with a purple colour. Or rather with a mixture of red and blue.

In other words, purple is ❝minus green❞. Get rid of the green part, and you get my favourite _polychromatic_ purple colour.

And please do me a favour, stop drawing rainbows with purple colour. There is none! Next time when you see a rainbow, take a closer look. You❜ll find a violet stripe—unless you have problems with colour vision—but not a purple one.

Technically, raindrops may arrange in a sophisticated way, and after all reflections, we might see a bit of pink after all. But such an event is extremely rare.

By the way, if you like science fiction, keep in mind that there are no purple lasers. Purple is always a mixture of red and blue.

**Vidia.  
**Looks like I❜ll cross the bridge after all, and you, my fair troll, will sit in the... How did you call it? River of Eternal Shame?

**Iridessa **_(worried)_**.  
**Why, why is it called so? Is this dirt unwashable?

**Troll** _(chuckles)_.  
Ask Vidia.

**Vidia **_(careless).  
_How am I supposed to know that?

_The fast flyer changes her facial expression as she realises what she had just said._

**Troll **_(chuckles again)_.

**Vidia.  
**Hawk take you!

_Vidia soars upwards and lands in the river with a splash. The troll giggles glowingly._

**Troll.  
**It❜s not hard to wash it off. Unfortunately, our shame today will be remembered till the end of time.

_The keeper points his finger at the camera. The characters look with astonishment. Zoom out._

_It turns out that everything was recorded and uploaded to YouTroll site (with a fairy-tail troll design). The green cursor presses the like icon._

_Fade out._


End file.
